Can't give it up!

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Addendum...

So this is just a mini-mini blog to let you know that 'Beat My Build' is being shown again on More4 17.45 week days. I think our episode will be on towards the end of next week or the week after.  I'm not entirely sure why I'm telling you this, as when I reviewed our episode recently I was reduced to tears. I'm not sure why. Perhaps its the whole 'inside me outside me' conflict - not wishing to sound self absorbed in anyway of course!

It is a bit of a coincidence that it's showing again just as Fiona and I are off for our sortie.  Tomorrow in fact.  Possibly the most ridiculous idea I've had recently.  But we've packed our bags, got our tickets, foreign currency, had our jabs and have the phrase book to hand. What could possibly go wrong?  Apart from me forgetting that I have a clinic on Saturday, so let hope the plane arrives on time or there'll be some very cross patients waiting for me.  Hopefully the jet-lag will take a while to catch up!

Also to remind you that my new blog can be found at 'Into the Twilight Zone' . The link works now. (I believe!).  Other than that not much to report, I have however reverted to type, and have had to treat myself to some lovely new under-garments, just to keep myself amused and out of trouble you understand!!  So wish us well, let's hope we have a fab time.  Will report back soon!

To play us out 'Heavy Seas of Love'  Damon Albarn. And our thought for the day? 'Elegance is the only beauty that never fades'.

The Very Last Word

So here we are, the end at last.  Our final thought for the day is 'There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go if he doesn't mind who gets the credit'. Our song to start us is 'Liquid Lunch' Caro Emerald.  Indeed I have felt the need for a few of those over the last couple of weeks!  But enough of that, this is really just to say that I will be starting a new Blog, and for now it will be called 'Into the Twilight Zone'. I will share it on Facebook as normal, but for those of you who wish to follow by whatever means, it can be found at: www.intomytwilghtzone.blogspot.com. It's been interesting for me to see where this has been read from, Brazil, China, UAE, Poland, Ukraine (although not recently, must have something else on your mind!) so thank you and I hope you've found the musings of one silly old woman entertaining!

The house completed at the end of March, so that's done and dusted. Like I said, Debbie and I won't be working together again, to quote 'You learn a lot about yourself doing physical work. And what I learnt about myself was that I don't like physical work.' Well that certainly applied to one of us, but as Paul Carrack espouses, 'Lifes too Short'.  So the matter is closed. We will not revisit it. It's going in the 'Never to be revisited' box. (I have to say, that this particular box has Tardis like qualities, as it should be full to over-flowing by now!). The goals were achieved, and money made, so move on.

And so I enter the Twilight Zone. The search begins.  This is the only thing that inspires me just now:

What do you think?  Might be a bit of a non starter, as I'm not sure I can get there for the block viewing this weekend, the lady at the agents told me that she could tell from my 'bit of an accent' (?!) that I wasn't local! If it's still about when Fiona and I make our exploratory trip then it's obviously meant to be!  I can feel a glimmer of excitement stirring! After all 'An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered'. And on that note I shall leave you, and play out to the strains of  'It's Good to be Alive' and ''Kissing You Goodbye'.  Thanks for reading!  Back soon XX!  ( How will you cope with out me?!)

Today I saw the First Flutterby of Spring..

So, yes it's been a while, I bet you've been wondering where I've been. Or may be I missed you more than you missed me! Easily done. Our thought for the day is 'What did moths bump into before the light bulb was invented?',  but maybe that's more of a question than a thought, so perhaps we had also better have 'Life is easier to take than you think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable'.  Our songs for the day are going to be 'Believe in me' The Pierces (may have spelt that wrong) 'Life's too Short' Paul Carrick, and 'Resurrection Shuffle' Ashton, Gardner and Dyke.

The house sale seems to be progressing, if somewhat more slowly than I would like.  But then, often things go slower than I would like.  More often than not, really.  Patience isn't my forte. As I've said before, I see patience as a minor form of defeat dressed up as a virtue.  Difficult to believe that I would think that isn't it? Being such a paragon of virtue and all that!  Anyway, we're set to complete on 28th, so then we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief and move on.

You might expect that my thoughts have been turning to our next project, and indeed they were.  That is until Deb and I went to see a possibility.  A which point it became abundantly clear that Deb and I would not be working together again.  Yes, it was strike three for my self destruct mechanism.  Shall we say that the words 'difficult', 'impossible', 'dismissive' and 'sub-standard' were bandied about in a not particularly complimentary combination.  In my defence, I would like to remind everyone that we have renovated a wreck and made about a 20% return in about 4 months.  Which I believed to be the aim of the game. Forgive me for getting that wrong, it was all for fun, show, and the approval of others, seemingly.  I just have to wonder if the project would have been completed, or if it would have made any return at all, if we had both abandoned it in a similar fashion.  I also wonder if the people slinging the mud actually ever stop and think how much mud others could sling if they chose.  In this particular instance I felt that discretion was the better part of valour and, for once held my tongue.  This aside of course! And walked away.

I have to say that I didn't enjoy this project as much as the first, maybe because we weren't filming, or maybe because Susie was better company.  Certainly, the first one was a better natured project.  I think I owe Susie an apology, or possibly I need to eat some humble pie.  Maybe both would be best, just to be certain you understand!

I have to say that I felt a strange sense of relief when I knew I wouldn't be doing it again in the same company.  I just need to find another way to achieve my goal.  And that is what is causing some degree of deliberation.  For once in my life I am devoid of a plan, I have no grand scheme, I am at a loss.  I am unsure what to do for the best.

I thought maybe I should try convention.  To which end I actually applied for a proper job.  Can you believe it! No? I struggled as well!  The top and bottom of that was that Klinitrials decided, without interview, that I was not for them.  Shame really, I thought swanning round the world over seeing clinical trials was right up my street.  I even have all the qualifications to back me up.  Perhaps, on reflection, an interview would merely have hastened their decision.  So back to the drawing board for me.

As I see it, there are three possible routes.

Firstly, I can slog it out here.  Pick up some locum work, try to resurrect the pudding business, or at least put some more effort into it. Hope that the shop starts performing.  I can't say that route fills me with joy, or enthusiasm, but it does remind me of the lesson that I learned at boarding school. 'All hideous things come to an end eventually. The less you moan and the more you get on with it, the easier it will be for everyone'.  Still not enamoured? No, me neither.

Secondly, you could all sponsor me!  Just give me a bit of cash to add to my stash so that I can afford another wreck and I'll return it to you, with profit, when the job is done.  Not sure about that one either, eh?

So that leaves only the third and most tenuous option.  I think a holiday home might be the way forward.  It has to be somewhere that is affordable for me, and relatively easy to get to.  So that rules out Cornwall/Devon, East Anglia, Suffolk, Kent, Wales, Cumbria and Northumbria.  Where does that leave? Scotland.  Although, I will concede, that both the weather and midges are against it for me personally, but people seem to like it.  How can Scotland be easier to get to than Cornwall (or any of the others) I hear you cry!  Well, I can fly from East Midlands, and it's cheaper than most other places.  So that's my plan, such as it is. Now I just need to find the place.  I want somewhere near water. In fact I mean right by the water. Like a boathouse, or a mill, or a plot of land running down to the shore.  Nothing fancy or big. Just something I can make into a cosy, welcoming bolt hole. A haven from the world.  Let me know when you find it for me.

I was thinking of going on an exploratory foray north of the border, but I was also hoping to combine it with and evening with Paolo.  Sadly, no tickets for Barrowlands, King Tuts or somewhere in Edinburgh could found for neither love nor money, so it doesn't look as if that will be happening any time soon.  Do let me know if you can help me out on any of those fronts!  We are, however, spending the evening with Paolo in the rather less salubrious surroundings of Wolverhampton.  The music will be just as good though, and that's what it's all about!

So that's about all I have to tell you.  I am beginning to see less of my black dog that has been with me for so long. Some days I even believe that he has left for good, but then I spy him again.  Maybe now he is a greyer dog with black patches.  Either that, or the meds are beginning to work.  There is scant evidence for that though.  I think he will be with me for a while, despite repeated attempts to chase him off, and to resist all temptation to give in, so I carry on (think there's another song there), putting one foot in front of the other, weathering the storms.  Living but not yet alive.  An adventure is called for, so that I can once again plunge through life.  Let me know when you find that bolt hole for me!

As the weather improves, I can feel my spirit begin to lift, and to try to fly and soar once more, like the first flutterby of spring that I saw today!

So that is all for now, I will pop back on occasion to let you know if that adventure has been found, to let you know if my pictish warrior has arrived and effected my rescue and to let you know where my heart has led me.  So be brave, be bold and let go of all the small stuff, life is just too short and can only be lived once!

(Actually, I'm not sure about that. I'm fairly sure I've been here before, and that I will be again.  Maybe I'll get it right next time!) x

Epilogue....

Have you missed me then? Well, I suppose it's not actually been that long in the grand scheme of things, but for me the last couple of weeks have been character building at best. As one of my friends kindly pointed out, she thought I had enough character already. Well now she knows why. I was sure that the man at the clinic had assured me that he had removed the 'MUG' tattoo from my forehead. You know the one, everybody else can see it, but when you look in the mirror it's invisible to you.  In fact he had actually replaced it with one saying 'STUPID MUG'.  But before we get into that particular tale, perhaps we should have our thought for the day. 'There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.'  Or possibly, 'A good laugh is sunshine in a house'. You'll be getting one of those in a moment.  But what of our song for the day? ' Easy' Sheryl Crow, or have we had that one already?  What about 'I am Woman' Helen Ready, or 'Letting you go' Christina Aguilera ( I know, I was mortified as well!)  Anyway, take your pick and off we go.

To business first, we think we've sold the house for the asking price.  After a bit of a false start with an absolute idiot, a very nice Australian and his girlfriend made us the offer. I will let you know how nice I continue to think he is after his surveyor has been round tomorrow. It was the gas hob and plumbed in shower that did it for him, apparently!  Whatever floats your boat.  Still, not bad, two asking price offers within two weeks of it going on the market.  It remains to be seen if it's too good to be true.  But I'll celebrate with the rest of you just now!

The reason for my scepticism is that recently I seem completely incapable of achieving anything but folly.  This evening, for example, I am struggling to persuade the water for the pasta to boil. I know not why. It's on the hob. The gas beneath the pan is lit. Why on earth it won't boil I cannot say. Still I'm sure the pasta will get there at a gentle simmer. Eventually. But then, as all of you know, Patience is not my middle name.  Even if it was, I think I would now change it to Mercenary.  Why? Because it seems to stand many other people in very good stead, so perhaps it's time for me to give it a go.

So to my tale of woe.  I have to say that on occasions I can almost persuade myself that it was merely a nightmare, or that the whole thing was my fault and that I should have seen it as an opportunity to push my boundaries. To move out of my comfort zone. And any of those other patronising statements that people make when you feel as low as you can go and they don't want to be implicated in any way.

As you may remember,  Anita and I were due to go to Chamonix for a few days, ostensibly for some CPD, but my understanding was that it was more about a girls weekend.  I have been more that a bit fragile this year (had any of you noticed? Or is that the understatement of the year?) and Anita has just got divorced.  I know, I can hear it now, someone in the background yelling 'recipe for disaster', but at the time I thought it might be what was needed.  Now, Anita will no doubt maintain that it was all for my benefit.  If I was to redeem anything from my on-going folly,  the best outcome would be from direct contact.  I wasn't very convinced, and never thought anything would come of it, longshot at best, indeed I thought a miracle more likely.  But hey-ho.

Getting to the airport was no mean feat, as it involved an unscheduled stop at Anita's parent's home as her father hadn't been very well.  Can you see the writing on the wall yet?  So, having left their house at the time we were supposed to be checking in, and having done some last minute packing in the carpark, not having enough time for a coffee, and being the last to board because we couldn't possibly use the loo on the aircraft, we arrived in Geneva.  The transfers were great, very nice driver, severe lack of snow, but nevermind, Jiri met us with the key to the flat.  All seemed fine. We were about to unpack, get a coffee and then contemplate supper. A plethora of restaurants and bars beckoned.  Two girls could have a very sedate evening indeed. Then Jim rang to say he was waiting for us in a bar.

 Who's Jim I hear you cry? You might well ask, and cry is something I certainly did quite a bit of over the next five days.  Jim, as I understand it, is the ex-boyfriend of a friend of Anita's who died recently. The friend, not Jim (sadly). Seemingly they became 're-acquainted' at the funeral, and have been 'in touch' ever since. Jim, it transpires lives in Switzerland and teaches golf. If you imagine Gordon Ramsay gone to seed, you'll have pretty good picture. No I don't like him in case you were wondering. It was one of those 'dislike at 50 paces' moments.

So, to cut a long story short, we had a rather unusual evening, the three of us, including Jim nearly having a seizure when Anita was chatted up by some other random man, and me wanting nothing more than for the whole uncomfortable evening to be over. At least Jim did pay for dinner. Bless him.

I have to say I was exhausted at this stage. I'd been up since 6, and had only had one bag of maltesers and a rather sub-standard coffee on the plane, so by the time we got to the restaurant at about 9 I had a headache and speech was somewhat beyond me.  Eventually I was deposited back at the flat, whilst the pair of them went for a 10 minute nightcap.  Need I say more?  But at least Anita did come back.  So, the next morning Anita and I were having a heart to heart (well mainly my heart, she caught me before I had my armour on, and made me cry), we were still in bed - I should perhaps add that the flat was so cold the only way we could keep warm was by putting all the bedding on one bed and sleeping in it - when the phone rings. Ten past nine. I ask you. We were on holiday, and adjusting to the time change.  Jim.

So despite my rather fragile state, we leap up, ready to rush off to meet him. I was thrilled. Then the phone rings again.  Not Jim.  Anita's sister-in-law saying her father is very ill.  So off we go, meet Jim for a rather insubstantial breakfast, I like porridge and lots of strong coffee, none of which was in evidence.  I was then told that he had bought two, two day ski passes (I don't ski) so that he could take Anita skiing. Lovely. Off they went, saying they'd be back in time to meet me for lunch.  4.15pm they arrived back. I was starving, having decided to wait for them. My headache was back. I was not at my sparkling best.  Then I was told that Anita's father was so ill that she wanted to go home. OK. Lets get things sorted.  At which point Jim took over completely, and it was decided that it was best to go to Geneva that evening to sort a flight out.  The 'good thing' to come out of this, according to Jim, was that I would get to stay in the swanky hotel he had booked for himself, rather than the cold flat, because he didn't want to stay and ski by himself.  But it was perfectly OK for the pair of them to screech off in his Audi and leave me in Chamonix by myself.  So by 5.30, I was stood in the lobby of a very posh hotel, tout-seul, as they say, clutching a ruck sack and a plastic bag.  Apparently Jim managed to 'calm Anita down' over night in Geneva.

I have thoroughly explored the delights of Chamonix, such as they are. I've been up the Aguille du Midi, I've been for a hike in the forest and I've been up to the Glacier.  The Grand Hotel du Montenvers is fantastic, full of old world charm, roaring fires and splendid isolation. Great for a romantic escape at this time of year.  I've discovered that I can eat in a restaurant alone, I'm good at the 'enigmatic woman' and that I can cope on my own.  All be it with the support of my friends at home via facebook and text. THANK YOU. And for having the dustpan, brush and super glue at the ready.  That's not to say I wouldn't have been very pleased to see a familiar face, friendly or otherwise.  The tale does become more surreal, and involve some fantastically selfish behaviour, along with a widower and a dog, but we won't go there.

I did do a lot of thinking though.  I have decided to consign the past 365 days to the 'never to be reopened' box.  And I do mean 365 days.  This time last year I was so excited and thrilled. I had allowed myself to believe that there may be someone who 'got' me, everything was possible.  Sadly I now know that it was 'sport flirting', and I misread it all and let myself be hurt in the process.  In short, I was the sport. There is no possibility of reconciliation on any level, due to stubborn stupidity and the fact that my self-destruct mechanism has surpassed itself this time. Will I stop wanting, or wishing I'd played a different game? I can't say. So for now I will continue to live, until I become alive again.  Am I frustrated? Yes, on every level. So much for following my heart.

I should perhaps say, that Anita's father is fine now.  Seemingly Anita and I are drawing a line under the whole sorry tale. And that is why I know I've got a new tattoo.

On the subject of tattoos, Joe has now had his completed, if you want to see what it looks like its on my facebook.  I resisted temptation. Mutton and lamb springs to mind. Although I did read quite an interesting piece by Tracy Emin on the subject of age. I could even empathise with some of it.  A whole new concept for me.

I think it may be time for a whole new approach. I'm not quite sure what yet, but I'll keep you posted.  2013 was supposed to be a year for change, or so I was reliably informed.  But as ever, I've come late to that party.  Maybe 2014 will be my year. Who can say?  But I shall continue to plunge through life, happy to know that I can, and in the hope that maybe, one day, all will be resolved. Or at least no longer worth worrying about.

The End is Nigh!

So, at last, here we are again! Yes we have finished, and yes it is on the market so it's all over bar the shouting! Hurrah!  Our last thought for the day, then, is 'Done is better than perfect' and our song to start us off is 'Beautiful Morning' (Rod Stewart, yes I know what can you say?! Good song though!) there may be more as we progress, we'll see!

We finished about a week ago, the agents valued it last week and since it went on the market on Monday we've had three viewing and another 4 booked for the weekend.  The agents will  be doing those as, yes, it's time for my CPD. Anita and I depart tomorrow for 5 days of who can say what.  All I do know is that it's unlikely to have much to do with Optometry.  Except, of course, at the champagne reception and course dinner which Anita thinks we should attend. I'm not that keen. I'm hoping for someone else to keep me warm inside when there's snow outside. Don't rate my chances much though! 'High Hopes' (Bruce Springstein)!!

Anyway, as promised here is your 'Spot the Difference' game. Accompanied by 'The Crunch' The RAH Band:
Street View:

Outside rear:

Garden:

Kitchen:

Lounge:

Bathroom:

Front Bedroom:

Attic

Could you spot the before and after?!!  Is it time for '10/10'? Or is that asking too much? Let me know what you think! Sense of deja vu for those of you who saw the last house, or what?!  There's a new series started on BBC2, to find a good amateur interior designer. It's very interesting, well for me is anyway, think I stand any chance???!!!   We're hoping for a quick sale, so that we can move on to the next project.  If we get a good price then my freedom fund should be about a third there, so onwards and upwards as they say.  To that end I've applied for some high powered job which involves travelling the world telling people what to do.  I think it might be a bit too high powered for me, but we'll give it a go.  Then all my organisational skills will be put to test so that I can continue with these projects.  Let me know if you know of any wrecks anywhere! Always up for a challenge!

So I will let you know when we sell, follow me and then you'll be the first to know about the next adventure!  So to play us out we have 'Freewheeling' (Josh Oshi), 'I would Rather Be' (Emily Maguire), 'Easy' (Sheryl Crow) and 'Why Worry' (Dire Straights).  Good enough for you?  Thanks for reading these, hope they've not been too tedious!  Told you it could be done! xx

Are We Nearly There Yet?

And the answer to that is 'Yes we nearly are!' In fact, had it not been for the Christmas Maddess that descends every year, we probably would be finished by now. Incredible! A Miracle - but then again it is THAT time of year!

Before we start though, the thought for the day is 'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift'.  Perhaps we should remember that more. I certainly intend to try. Our song for the day? How could it not be 'I Believe in Father Christmas'.  My all time favourite Christmas song. Greg Lake in case you're wondering.

Now this is just a mini-blog, as I'm VERY busy, you understand. Doing all that Christmassy stuff.  I've done my shopping, wrapped that that needs wrapping, posted everything that needs posting.  Those who didn't receive either a card or my customary missive have either been severely lacking in the communication department, or I just feel enough is enough, and so you have been struck. If you really want my missive, I'll perhaps put it up on this later. I've done the decorations, fetched the turkey and made the puddings. In fact Thom and I have spent the afternoon injecting profiteroles (yes I did make them myself -choux pastry is very easy), the chocolate marquise is ready - nearly didn't get one this year, boudoir biscuits are difficult to track down and a pain to make! So that's VERY busy for those of you who wonder!  Esmerelda (the pet turkey) is still in hiding, but we expect to see her on Thursday.

So back to the house. We are nearly there. The carpets go down on 9th Jan, then it's dressing and on the market. Hurrah!  I still have to finish the front room, and paint the big porch.  But it's always the last few miles which seem the longest isn't it?  Meanwhile, here's the outside

Looks a lot better doesn't it? When we're done, I'll do a 'Spot the Difference' competition for you!  So that's your taster for how the inside will have changed!  Can you bear the anticipation? Well you'll just have to!

So what else is new? We have a new stove at home, so now the lounge is actually usable at this time of year. Not that it's that cold just now, but gone are the days of not being able to watch the telly because the breath in front of your face obscures the view!  And the chimney draws properly now, so no more smelling like a bonfire either. Only taken 15 years to sort out!  Lovely and toasty now though! Still not quite enough to relinquish my blanket however!

All the boys are home now, so it's lovely to see them, catch-up on all their news. Remember quite how noisy 3 boys can be, no matter how old they are. The petrol pixie has been a frequent visitor since Joe has returned, and I am relegated to the Land Rover.  Full winter gear is required when driving.  Heaters are obviously a modern invention.  The head chappie came to see Joe yesterday.  He was trying to find out if, indeed, anything goes on inside Joes' head.  I think he'll be looking for quite a while, and then be sadly disappointed.  A story we're all familiar with, eh girls?!

So this time of year is about friends and family, and we had a lovely evening with Deb and Shaun last night.  All of Debs family were there, although Dawn seemed to be more jet-lagged, having just flown down from Aberdeen, than Derek was, having just flown in from Malaysia.  Ah, the trials and tribulations of international travel!  Fab evening though, we even played a game and Dawns inspired miming ensured victory for us girls!  I only had one weepy moment, my first in a while so we are getting there, just in more ways than one!  Anita and I are all set for our international adventure.  I don't think jet lag will be an issue, at least on the way out.  I think it may be a different issue on the way back!  Let's hope the snow is good, we're looking forward to the champagne reception. Not sure about the rest of it though!  Hoping for good apres!

But enough! This is a mini-blog!  So here's wishing you all a fantastic Christmas, enjoy the company, make the most of those that you are with and the time you are with them. Shall we have a bit of Noddy to play us out? or would you prefer a bit of Pharrel?  Which ever, or what ever  HAVE FUN! Live, Love, Laugh. x

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!

Today I Saw the Last Butterfly of Summer ....

So here we are again, this is getting to be a habit! But don't despair, it is very nearly over, I can feel it in my bones.  So our thought for the day is 'To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.'  Well we started out at a disadvantage, in so much as we only had a plot rather than a plan. But perhaps a plot is merely a plan without enough time put into it! We definitely don't have enough time though, I want the whole project finished by Christmas.  Yes, I have seen flying pigs.  There's a whole herd of them living just down the road.  Our song for the day is 'The Games People Play' or 'Love Thy Will Be Done'. Take your pick.

So what have I been up to for the past couple of weeks? Well, let me see, it's all a bit of a blur, Chris, Debs friend came to help clear the garden.  So most of the hardcore has gone. Then I was gaily painting the kitchen walls one day when a rather nice young man knocked at the door. I was quite surprised, as I had never seen him before in my life.  Anyway, when I had recovered myself, he offered to take away some of the other rubbish and the cooker. After a moments' incredulity, I said yes, and him and his mate made very short work of shifting a lot of stuff.  I'm sure he only knocked to make sure that no one was in before he nicked it, but he was very pleasant and it's another job done! Deb and Chris have finished off the rest today.

We're still waiting for Chris the plumber to come and finish, but apart from that the upstairs is finished. Hurrah!  The walls that were challenged in the smoothness department have become feature walls.  Do you like my choice of paper?

I chose it mainly because it's called 'Follow Your Dreams', which of course is what I endeavouring to do.  Only one or two obstacles in my way, but time and economics should sort those.   For the other I feel a burst of esotericism (is that a real word? This computer doesn't think so!) coming on.  So watch this space.  Of course I will be ably assisted by Anita, so that could mean anything might happen!  Our holiday, sorry that should be CPD course is booked. Fear and trepidation are setting in, it could possibly be the most stupid thing I have done to date. And that takes some doing. But as we all know 'Fear, like love, is difficult to explain after it has subsided, probably because it draws away the veils of illusion as it disappears'. Good, eh? Got millions of them. That's the draw back of reading anything and everything and having a good memory!

So back to the task in hand!  So all we are waiting for to finish upstairs is the sink and the carpet. Fabulous!  So to the kitchen.  We painted it last week, we've bought the kitchen, it's been painted, and  Darren and Zak have started to fit it.  What do you think?

We think it's starting to look really good. Amazing what can be done with a tatty £500 kitchen!  Apparently it wasn't as straight forward as it could have been, but it's really starting to take shape.  Sense of deja-vu anyone? Lot of it about on this project. Best be careful!  I'll touch up the kitchen this week and give the units a top coat, then that's finished too!  Stripping the black paint off the floor tiles is proving a bit of a challenge however, I think I've tried every type of stripper known to man (no, not a double-entendre at all), and some that are less well known, all to no avail.  I think it may remain black!

Really the only room that hasn't been touched is the living room. Hopefully that will be a breeze!

Having had weeks of dry weather, I decided it was a good idea to paint the  back step.  Only to have the heavens open. So far I've tried three times to paint it. Each time the paint has washed off before it was dry. I'm going to construct a tent before I try again.  The new porch is up and just needs painting. So the excitement is mounting, a crescendo is beginning, how will we contain ourselves?!

As a slight aside, I was walking through the town centre, in search of vital supplies (that'd be a Dime bar), when this woman came up to me and asked if I drank alcohol. I wasn't really sure how to take that, did she think I was drunk? I almost said that it was just the way I walked!, or did she want my help in finding someone fitting that description?  Confused you will be!  As it turned out they were conducting some form of Market Research. I didn't help. Sorry!

So, I don't think I've got any other interesting (or otherwise) anecdotes  for you today.  It's the onset of winter I think. It's definitely getting close to Christmas, I've lit the stove at home, I've written my Christmas missive (if you want me to add it to this blog let me know!). I've thought about buying presents, and Emerelda - the pet turkey - has gone into hiding.  But I did see the last butterfly of summer today, and as I let it go it flew away with all my hopes and dreams and good wishes for you all. I hope they reach you by Christmas.....

The Road is Long ...

So here we are again, after another short interlude. I have been trying to collect myself, rationalise my thoughts, marshal my courage, amongst many other things, shall we say? Our thought or should I say thoughts for the day are 'When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him' and 'Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?'  Those two thoughts have fortified me over the past few days following our rather unusual edition of 'Beat My Build'.   Anyone any comments? I was a bit perplexed.  I do feel, however, that prolonged close-ups require their air-brushing techniques to be improved, at very least, and are probably strictly unnecessary in any event!  Still, we did win.  I don't think my spatial awareness is at all at fault, it's the old 6 inches/ 2 inches conundrum that men seem to face on a daily basis that caused the confusion!  Any tactfulness that may have been evident, or otherwise, on my behalf, was entirely down to some radical editing.  I had quite a lot more to say!

But Hey Ho! back to the current project. I have been painting, painting and more painting. Interspersed with a bit of filling and sanding for light relief.  I try to do at least one inside job a day, and one outside.  I have only one window left to paint outside, and the porches of course. I have finished the front bedroom, all we need is the carpet in there.  Isn't the fireplace lovely?  Sense of deja vu (as my Maths master used to say, whilst banging on the board with his rubber, beneath a proof of something I was really sure I'd never seen before in my life! No euphemisms involved) with the mirror and light fitting, anyone?  So the door to that room is shut, and I've moved on.

I've painted the ceiling of the landing and stairs, no mean feat for someone of my stature, but only involved limited acrobatics!  I am, however, contemplating a feature wall.  The only wall that we didn't have plastered is somewhat rubbish in the smoothness department.  I will see what my filling and sanding skills can offer next week before resorting to the (same) cityscape paper as before.  Imaginative aren't I? Still, if it worked once, it may work again!

The bathroom continues to frustrate.  Chris and I have constructed a cupboard around the boiler, or should I say, recommissioned the old cupboard following some cosmetic surgery?  Then we moved on to the challenge of the shower enclosure. And boy! what a challenge that was!  Shall we say the instructions were somewhat limited, and clearly translated from another language with little regard for actual English.  I thought Chris was going to be reduced to tears at one point.  I was fairly close myself most of the time, but it had little to do with the shower enclosure!  But we prevailed!  Persistence overcomes resistance and all that crap! But you will have to wait until next time for an actual photo as I was so overcome with relief that I forgot to take one for you.  The moral of the tale, however, is never to buy a quadrant cubicle. When constructed it closely resembles something that should beam-you-up-Scotty.  If only there were sound effects too! The other Chris will finish the plumbing in there next Saturday, then that's another room finished. Hurrah!

We've at last managed to buy a kitchen, and I have painted it. Both the units and the kitchen itself, Deb did a great job on the walls. So Darren is also coming back on Saturday to finish the electrics and fit the units. I'll be busy that day, won't I girls? Tea and coffee all round!  Such a skill!  I also have to fit in going to work that day as well!  I'll take a photo of that for you (the kitchen that is. Work isn't interesting enough to warrant one, although Kelly and I do our best to have a laugh, and make a bit of money.). Such a lot to look forward to.  How will you contain yourselves??!!

A lot of the rubble is now gone from the garden, thanks to (yet another) Chris and Connor, so I will have to contemplate that soon. Let's hope the mild weather holds!

What else have I to tell you? Oh yes! I was watching X Factor (I know, I'm ashamed to admit it, but there we are) and I was very surprised to learn of an alternative use for suspenders!  Apparently they can be used for holding your kilts up, lads!  I was under the impression that braces were more suitable, but I stand corrected.  Either way, I am VERY partial to a man in a kilt.  Of course, it rather depends on which man it is in the kilt! So glad I shared that aren't you!

I also read a very interesting article on what makes us human.  As many of you know, I'm not sure that I am, in fact, from this planet.  I spend most of my time feeling that I must have been really bad somewhere else and have been beamed down here as punishment for doing something really terrible. What, I'm not sure. I just know it must have been really bad for punishment this great.  Perhaps that's what the shower cubicle is for!  My punishment must be nearly over, I will be departing soon.  No need to cheer quite so loudly!  Anyway, the interesting thing was that doing silly things for no apparent reason other than fun, playing in effect, is what makes us human.  Perhaps I'm closer to humanity than I thought!  So with this in mind, Anita (yes, we had another CET thing this week, which was more interesting than the last, and the fish and chip supper was great. No wine was involved. Relief all round!) and I have hatched a plan.  We're going holiday, but we're doing it under the guise of yet another CET, sorry this ones a CPD, event.  I don't think we've any intention of actually doing any CPD, but we're looking forward to the apres!  God alone knows what will happen, and I'm fairly sure we can keep even Him guessing!  Don't watch this space too closely!  What a jolly good use of that prize money, don't you think?!

So I don't think there's much else to tell you today, other than one of my peacocks has died. So if any of you has one looking for a good home, or have one in the mood for romance, please let me know.  Lucy (the one that's still with us) is getting a bit lonely. Join the club.

Our song for the day (ah-ha, thought I'd forgotten didn't you?),  Nell Bryden 'What Does it Take', because I have no idea how to re-establish communication, much as I would like to.  Anyone know if you can use the words 'implacable' and 'disingenuous' in the same sentence without giving offence?

Is that a Light I See Before Me?

So here we are again, after a short interlude. I seem to have been very busy for the past couple of weeks, but not really getting very much done!  Still, before we commence our thought for the day is 'Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind'. Not sure who came up with that one, but it's very true for me.  Although I have to say to my cost, openness and honesty have not stood me in very good stead this year. I rather feel that I should have chosen a different set of rules, but I'm hopeless with them as well!  So our song for the day?  Oooh, difficult choice today 'Go Gentle'  maybe, not really cheery enough, 'Holes'? possibly, 'Magnetise'? could be.  I think I'm just going to pick......., hmmmm....., to pick..... (just texting Joe to find out what it's called and who it's by, hang on... any second we'll know .. ) ready? Ellie Goulding 'How long will I love you'.  Actually I think I might change my mind. I think I'll have 'Wings' Little Mix, or maybe 'Riptide'.  Very undecided today, haven't considered all the possibilities yet. Will get back to you on that one. Take you're pick in the mean time!

Anyway, it has been brought to my attention that this blog has wandered away from it's primary mission. I will endeavour to rectify that today by talking to you about sawing.  That's saWing with a 'W', as opposed to sawRing with an 'R' in it. My pronunciation was corrected by someone whose accent I found a little tricky to understand (that will account for my huge misjudgement), and for whom English was his second language. Bit of a cheek! Never mind, back to the sawing (with or without the 'R').

Now, when I require a piece of wood of a certain length and I am faced with a piece of a different, but longer length, I find that measuring and marking the required length is the first step. Then I select a saw (it doesn't have an 'R'). It could be any saw, but most likely it will be the first one that comes to hand. Unless it's a hack saw. Or a mitre saw. Or one with a PPI of more than 8. See you're impressed now with my extensive knowledge of saws.  That is the extent though. There is no more where that came from!  So having selected said saw, I place my misproportioned bit of wood on a stable surface, put my foot on it, or if necessary kneel on it (as if in penitence), position my saw and saw merrily away until I am left with a bit of roughly the desired proportions. There is sometimes some rather heated language to accompany this operation, sometimes I even have to remove some clothing.  But I do usually end up with a satisfactory out come.

This, apparently, is not enough. There is a required technique. A strategy even. (Not dissimilar to the 'strategy' required to play cricket. Wallop the ball as hard as you can and run as if someone undesirable is chasing you, sums up my strategy in this case. Apparently that's not right either, it's a whole lot more subtle than that. Maybe that's why we lose so often. A rethink maybe required).  But I digress, back to the sawing. Seemingly, after having measured everything twice, marked the wood once and checked that everything is the right way round (?), we can begin.  Having placed the wood on a suitable workbench, we introduce the saw to the wood with a gentle rasp (have they tried internet dating I hear you ask!), then we hold the saw as if it were a child.  Firmly enough to guide it, but not firmly enough to cause it to fight against you. Then it glides though the wood, like a knife through butter. Of course you have to be careful not to lay it over (back to the internet dating then!). The outcome? A bit of roughly the right proportions. Anybody else feel that some people have too much time on their hands?

So,  if any of you would like to help me 'repurpose' a cupboard - considerable sawing skills required - let me know. My skills are not up to standard.  I pay a very good day rate, but make awful tea, coffee being my drink of choice!

Back to the job in hand, then. Monday last week I finished painting the attic, cleaned it and shut the door. Then Deb took me out for lunch ( not this Deb, my other friend Deb), so sadly I didn't get much done in the afternoon. Too bad!  Monday evening I had to go to a Peer Review session with Anita. Well! We were celebrating her divorce for an hour beforehand.  As many of you know, half a glass of wine and I'm anybody's. Consequently we didn't get an awful lot out of the learning experience. Wine really is NOT recommended beforehand, especially when trying to impress others with your professionalism and subject knowledge. Least said soonest mended I feel.  But the attic looks great!

Tuesday was work, I believe. Then Wednesday I spent most of the day laying flat on my back in the bathroom with Chris the builder. Why? We were putting the shower tray in.  There has to be a simpler way. Still it's done now. So is all the tiling in there.  And the walls and ceilng have been painted. The lights have been fitted and Chris the plumber is coming tomorrow (7.30 groan) to finish off.  Then the bathroom is done! Hurrah!

What else? I've filled and sanded all the walls in the front bedroom, and given it its first coat of paint, so  tomorrow I'll top coat that. So we're moving on!  John demolished the back porch so that the new one can go up.  The plasterers have finished completely now, and the electrician has done most of the second fix.  So just the landings and downstairs now. And the garden and the painting outside. And I've to reconnect the water to the sheds.  The very bad cutting off type behaviour regarding next doors water also resulted in a loss of supply to our outside loo.  Teach me to be so rash!  Not much left to do then!

This week I don't seem to have achieved much. On Wednesday I did the Proud Mother bit, in that I went to Sheffield for Thoms' graduation. Lovely day, good lunch, long ceremony and .... I got to see Harry Styles in the flesh (so to speak).  I have to say I was a little underwhelmed, but my boy did good!

Today I've been ferrying Joe around. We've had to be back to the knee man.  Now Joe has to have an MRI scan to try to find out what is going on.  We also had a rather illuminating visit to a tattoo parlour. Thankfully it was very clean, man, and smelled of TCP, man. Why the chappie with rather large hoops in his ears, but no sign of a tattoo himself, felt the need to keep calling me 'man' I will never know. He didn't even look as if he came from the Caribbean and his accent was otherwise distinctly East Midlands, man.  Did I succumb to the lure of the tattoo? Well you'll just have to wonder! Joe is booked in for January.  The debate over the size and design continues. Anyone wishing to contribute with advice, please say your piece.

What else to tell you? The police have given up trying to find the tools that were stolen. They very kindly wrote to tell me. I also had a very poor experience at parents evening with Alf.  He now has a Saturday morning detention (at school) for his efforts (or lack thereof).

Have any of you seen the George Clarke programme on Channel 4?  Well I love it ! I have always had a 'thing' for tree houses, so would love to go to the tree hotel in Sweden (should anyone wish to offer to take me!). Or better still, anyone wanting to help me build a tree house, preferably near a lake, or loch or some sort of water so that it could hang impossibly out over the water and just be a fabulous fantastical place, let me know. Always up for an adventure!

Now don't forget, our programme goes out next Friday 22nd 11am Channel 4. I am VERY apprehensive now, having seen the others. I think ours will be really boring and we'll look completely stupid. I think they've shown clips of every other programme in the series apart from ours, so that must mean that ours is dreadful and that the transformation was less than impressive. Perhaps we need to congratulate them on their acting skills, in persuading us that we were any good. Perhaps a BAFTA is in the offing.  Still we shouldn't judge too soon. We must wait and see. This maybe the last you hear from me, my shame will be too great.

So that's all for today. I'm sure it's quite enough, if you've made it this far.  The song for the day? I think  'The Gambler' might be the best bet!  Hahhah!!

Over the hump ...

So here we are again, and it's not raining!  So our thought for the day, 'With a brave heart, anything is possible' and our song, well again you have a choice. Either 'I like the way you move' (Bodyrockers, or possibly Bodysnatchers, can't remember which) or 'Blurred lines' ( Robin Thicke and somebody else).  Take your pick, or even both.  I nearly picked Gary Barlow, 'Let me go', but I didn't like the sentiment even though I like the tune. In my experience whenever anyone says 'I know what's best for you' it's actually code for 'you're going to really dislike this, but it suits me just fine so bugger you'.  It's on  par with 'It's character building'. That's code for ' it's hideous, but it's going to happen anyway and the less you moan the sooner it will be over'. Shall we carry on now?

So  we've entered the not very exciting phase of the build, which involves copious quantities of paint. I've painted the attic, no mean feat I might add.  Deb and I had to do it in relay, and involve several Heath Robinson type contraptions to reach the highest, most inaccessible places. Along with daring acrobatic moves and general inventiveness. And I'm sure that you're all au fait with our total disregard for Elivin Safety by now.  Still it looks great now the top coat in on.  One room down!

Thomas (can I remind you all that I WAS a child bride) came home for half term, so was quickly pressed into action.  He has first-coated two ceilings and most of the walls of the front bedroom.   It turns out that there are two distinct methods of painting.  Slow and clean, versus quick and dirty.  No prizes for guessing which is who's preferred method!!

Yes, I have lost even more weight, but at least my hair has grown back after the last little incident with the Very Big Scissors.  Seemingly it's not a good idea to cut your own hair whilst leaning your head to one side.  It tends to end up a bit lopsided. I did try to pass it off as a trendy style, but nobody believed me.   Still it's nearly down to my waist now, so I will have to address it again soon.  No I don't dye it, and yes I do know that it's very passée to have long hair beyond a certain age.  Do I care? No, not at all.  Yes, that is, indeed, a bath in the kitchen. Just the place you'd expect to find one. It's a new trend. It beats the whole loo-in-the-bedroom-with-no-door-but-very-large-extractor-fan trend hands down, don't you think?!  It refuses to leave the building until the porch has been demolished.  That's next weeks job.

The bathroom walls and ceiling have also been painted, and Chris has laid the floor tiles. Fab, eh?  John is working on the last window, so we are getting there. it's just not wildly exciting just now.

I have to say that the kitchen has/is causing me some degree of angst. How to arrange it, what style, what colour? As many of you know, my mantra is 'if in doubt paint it black'. Deb's not overly keen on that.  I also suggested it for the new bath. That was frowned on as well. We shall see.

On the subject of painting, Joe (child bride remember) has decided he wants a tattoo.  I have tried all the usual discouraging tactics.  It'll be painful.  It'll fade. It may look great now, but can you imagine what it will look like on an old, wrinkly man standing in his saggy underpants?  All to no avail.  Apparently pain isn't an issue.  This is the child that had the car accident, who said he never wanted to feel pain again, and that the IV drip had put him off needles for life.  Is it a small tattoo, I hear you ask?  This is what he has chosen

I'm not sure small is the operative word.  What do you think?  As there is only one man I know with a tattoo, and he is currently in Communicado, there is no one I can ask with this sort of experience to discuss it with Joe.  Comunicado, for those of you unfamiliar with it, is a small island off the coast of South America, not far from the Virgin Islands.  I am reliably informed that there are no virgins left there. There is also no mobile signal either, seemingly.  In some ways I can see the attraction of a tattoo. Not one as big as this though. For example, I would much prefer to get a tattoo than get married again.  But each to their own.  I shall remind Joe of the pain issue just after the tattooist has started! I just hope it doesn't say something like 'this is all that's holding my leg on' in maori! Or, 'it's the other one that's real, this is my spare'. Let's hope they don't misspell whatever it does say!

I have actually had to go into work this week, if only to prove that I can do a proper job.  A myth that was dispelled seconds after my first patient took a seat.  If you have a nervous disposition, or were shocked in anyway by last weeks' revelations about my underwear, then you need to turn away now.  I suggest going to lie down in a darkened room. It will all be over soon.

The lady seemed perfectly nice. Quite intelligent. Unassuming. Nothing to mark her out.  Then she informed me that she had a genital cataract. I was a little taken aback. I am only a mere optician. That isn't my area of speciality (I'm not actually sure I've got one).  After I had recovered myself, and checked my hearing, I had the overwhelming desire to laugh.  I don't know how I got through the test.  I was almost crying when it was over.  I even had to reassure her that it wasn't catching, and that she couldn't pass it on to her husband, but could possibly to her children. That caused much angst and gnashing of teeth.  For those of you who are quite alarmed and confused at this point, but unsurprised by my unsympathetic response, I should perhaps say that I'm fairly confident that she actually meant CONgenital cataract. Which is something else entirely. I do actually know something about them.  I think I’ve got the full collection now for the ‘Daft Things to Say at the Opticians’ list.  This one tops the list though, along with  ‘Take a seat/ Where should I take it?’; ‘Oooh, the big black chair? Is it an electric chair?’ (sadly not) ; ‘I’ve got a stigma’(is that to go with the chip on your shoulder?) and ‘My stigmata make it difficult to get on with new glasses’ (let me get you a tissue for that).  I'm not sure that I'm cut out to be an optician.  Luckily I have several other fallback plans.

Still back to the tale, for those of you in the darkened room, you can come out now.

I'm not actually sure that I am a planner. More of a plotter I feel.  I know where I want to get to, and just assume that the minor details will fall into place along the way.  That way you're never disappointed that any plans you may have made have gone awry.  I spoke to Mat this week, you know from the telly.  Apparently  the thing that made Susie and I 'good value', in TV terms, is that we didn't have a plan. Or certainly there was no evidence of one.  I am a little unsure what 'good value' in this context actually means, but it is a bit late to worry about it as the transmission date is 22nd November, 11am Channel 4. Beat my Build.  I'm not sure that 'looking forward' to it is the exact phrase I would use at this moment in time.  Teach me to be so gung-ho, to look before I leap etc, and all those other boring old truisms that are really code for sit on your backside and don't do anything.  To ask me to stop thinking and dreaming and plotting is like asking the rain to stop falling out of the sky ( and I have asked this week).  It's what makes me, me. So lump it or like it, I am the proverbial bad penny, but at least I always have a tale to tell!

Until next time! Do you have your next adventure lurking somewhere?!!  I rather fancy Salsa dancing, or possibly rock climbing. Any one up for it?

Once More Into the Fray Dear Friends!

Yes, I know I've been unusually quiet for the past week or so, but I've been hoping for exciting news.  So, our thought for the day is 'pressure and stress are what you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing' and our song or songs for the day are 'Roar' Katy Perry, and 'Tubthumping' Chumbawamba. I thought I'd treat myself to two today, but they both have similar themes!

So what's been happening since I last wrote? Well, we were all very fed up after the burglary.  Phil, the plastered was more upset about losing his DAB site radio than his drills, so in the spirit of consolation Deb and I bought him a new one.  He couldn't believe it!  His little face was a picture to behold. His wife wasn't so impressed, mind!  We're also going to help John replace some of his stuff as well.

Most of the plastering has been completed now. With the exception of the back hall, where the on going saga of the shared water supply is threatening to cause some very bad cutting off type behaviour from me.  I am trying to resist but, as many of you know, my resistance to bad behaviour, together with  resolve to be sensible, is very low this year.  In fact it has slipped so many times this year that is now almost acceptable behaviour!

The rain stopped play on our adventure play equipment for most of the week, but the impressive hole in the roof has been fixed, as you can see, and I've painted the guttering and first and second floor windows on the outside.  John has done a fantastic job of restoring them.  He's even managed to preserve some of the lovely original glass. All of the stained glass windows are still in tact, you'll be pleased to hear!

Don't you think the view from the attic is lovely? You can see right out to the Beacon. Fabulous!

I think Deb and I have hit that 'mid-project depression' stage.  You know the one, it looks worse now than before we started, and the end seems along way off.  To be fair, we've both had quite a lot of other stuff thrown at us aside from this.

I have now successfully knackered three cars this year. The Izusu - it's brain died so it had to be scrapped, the white van - one attempted write off, second spectacular, complete and utter write off, and now the Alpha. You know the one, it's red and makes me drive too fast, so I have accumulated more speeding points than I've ever had!  So what have I done to this lovely car? I merely took it to the garage and filled it with unleaded, as you do. It said unleaded on the pump.  It said unleaded on the receipt. Sadly nobody had told the tanker driver that's what it said. He filled the pump with diesel.  Did you know that petrol engines don't run terribly well on diesel?   What a saga.  Hopefully it will be back to normal soon! Murco are footing the bill.  Thank God for the Land Rover, with it's new low-profile tyres (?!) it's even safe to drive in the wet! If a little damp!

Deb and I have had some very good ebay purchases, and we found a beautiful cast iron fireplace by the side of the road (as you do!), so that will do nicely for the bedroom.  We did put 30 quid through the letter box of the house nearest the fireplace - just so as you're all clear that Deb and I haven't turned into tinkers!  We are struggling a bit with the style we want for the kitchen, but today I marked it all out on the wall and floor so I think we've sorted it now.  Just got to buy one!

I find the rain particularly difficult at this time of the year, together with the dark mornings, so to cheer myself up I've indulged in some retail therapy.  Yes my guilty pleasure (or should that be secret?).  It lies beneath these very attractive work clothes and sturdy boots. Lurking. Ready to surprise the unsuspecting. What is it you cry? That's right, really lovely underwear!  I wasn't sure at first about this particular purchase, it is really rather red.  But is does have both sufficient crane-age and scaffolding to meet my requirements and preferences. The knickery type things are a wonder to behold! As tights are not my thing (aren't you glad I told you that?!), every time I wear stockings I have to go through the whole 'suspender under the knickers' (for speedy exit) versus 'suspender over the knickers' (for the dying for the loo challenge) conundrum. But these knickers combine the two! Knicenders? Suspickers? The suspendery type bit is attached to the knicker itself, so no dilemma. Marvellous! I have yet to see if the result is similar to the 'tight slippage and migration' problem known to all us girls.  Could be very unpleasant for all concerned. However, both bits also go rather well with some other very patriotic underwear that I have in my possession, so I can mix and match!  All rather splendid I thought!  But enough of that, don't want to give any of you palpitations.

I also thought I deserved a day off from all the hard labour (???!!). So Alf and I booked into the Snowdome for an intensive (and very expensive) 'Learn to Snowboard in Day' thing.  I wouldn't say I was a natural snowboarder.  I don't think the instructors would say that either.  I can go forwards down a slope. Going backwards (why?) makes me crash into a wall, gracefully, you understand, and I feel that turning is strictly unnecessary!  Having spent 8 hours (8 hours? I ask you!) attempting this feat, I was told that I'd only reached level 2. That's one above the lesson that starts 'This is a snowboard, you stand on it and slide'.  I rather feel that Apres Ski is more my thing!  Alf was quite good though.  We were both absolutely exhausted by the time we'd finished. Standing and walking have been a bit of a challenge ever since!

Anyway, look, back to the house! Stop distracting me with irrelevant detail and tales of other things!  Today we started painting inside, ceilings and walls. We've chosen the paint colours. No prizes for guessing. Gauze. Sense of deja vu anyone?  For those pedants amongst you, yes the plaster is dry. We have a excellent heating system.  Have you heard the joke about the pedant who was on trial in court? He got off on a technicality!!  HaHa! Just thought I'd throw that in. We've bought the tiles for the bathroom.  Chris will be back next week to lay them.  Hopefully I'll get a kitchen tonight.

Other news (can there be any more?), contain yourselves now!  Beat My Build is due to start airing on 4th Nov, 11 am Channel 4.  Has anyone from Lion TV or Channel 4 told me that? No. Communication is possibly not really their thing, but twitter is quite reliable.  That and the TV listings.  Possibly they've also joined the 'Let's not communicate with Sue' club. It's a small (possibly only two members so far, that I'm aware of), but rapidly expanding club. Let me know if you wish to join. I'm excellent at inadvertent enragement, it's a skill I'm very proud of. Or mild to general irritation.  I can also do direct pissing off if I try hard enough. You have to choose one as your initiation to join.  Those of you who are already members, which would you say I'm best at?  For others considering joining, let me know which you'd prefer!  I am also aware that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. It is the highest form of intelligence though.  And that is the correct rejoinder.

Any way, at least the sun has temporarily come out.  We are beginging to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My mojo is returning. It's on it's way, it told me so.  Until the next time, keep smiling!!

P.S Thanks to all of you for reading this, does anyone know why some one in Ukraine might be looking at this? Let me know what you think of it. Constructive feedback is always useful!

The Long March Continues ...

Well what a week its been!  But before we get to that, our thought for the day is ' You cease to be concerned by what people think of  you once you realise how little they actually think', and our song for the day? 'Hold on (for one more day)' Wilson Phillips.  You'll see why in a minute!

The week started quite well, lovely and sunny despite the weathermens' forecast.  I arrived to find that the troublesome holly tree had been partially 'addressed' by John, our carpenter and part-time daredevil.

Over the weekend he had single handedly taken down enough of the bush  to allow the reluctant scaffolders to put up the rest of the scaffold, so they were duly called. They deigned to come on Thursday. I should perhaps add that John is 63!

The garden, sadly, has been rather comprehensively destroyed, and is now full of debris.  The reason we haven't been very diligent about taking stuff down to the tip is because the land rover has required a new propshaft, amongst one or to other minor details.  But it's back on the road now and we will soon be clearing the rubble etc.

The electrician also arrived to wire the central heating in so we can now start to dry the house out in readiness for the plasterers. He also helped me put a hole through the chimney in the kitchen for the extractor fan. We were hoping to just drill into the stack and to let it vent up the chimney itself.  However, chimneys are never straight forward, and we managed to drill into one of the three flues which had been capped and very kindly filled with rubble. Yes, we've cleared it all now and have a lovely vent all they way through the wall to the outside world. I was very grubby by the end of it all, and there was yet more rubble in the garden!

The right sort of electricity man turned up and changed the main fuse.  Sadly he wasn't really the right sort of man for either Deb or I.

The plasterers arrived on Wednesday as promised, and started boarding out.  They are over boarding in the new bathroom where we've take a wall down, and to hide all the pipe work.  Due to the arrangement of the bathroom and the fact that we have concrete floors throughout the house (commonly called pub floors I believe - see got all the lingo now!), the waste pipe from the sink has to go about half way round the room. So I thought it would be a jolly good idea to put part of said pipe at a angle to increase the flow.  I also thought it'd be a good idea to put this pipe in the partition wall where it would be hidden once the overboarding was done.  I removed enough of the old lath and plaster so that I could see what I was doing.  Ah-ha! I thought I need a 40mm drill bit now to drill though one of the uprights.  I asked the gentlemen on site if they might have one I could borrow for a few minutes.  Big mistake.  The job was deemed too complex for me. I was dispatched to screwfix for essential supplies. I had a list.  Lots of measuring, deep breaths and general uming and ahing went on whilst I was gone.  No actual action though, you understand. It was far to soon for that. I arrived back with supplies, to find that a great deal of looking and measuring had been done, no actual drilling.  I wasn't allowed to contribute. I had to make tea.  That's what was needed. Eventually the drill was brought out, the parts required assembled, and tentative advances made.  This is the result

Can you see it? The grey bit of pipe with two angle pieces - not 90 degree angle pieces you understand, they had to be 92.5 degree pieces, and two brackets. They were the complicated bit that I wasn't able to deal with.   4 hours that took. 4 whole hours. Several people nearly died.  Patience, I believe, is a minor form of despair dressed up as a virtue.

To add insult to injury, there was no sign of the scaffolders.  Unless you can count a drive by, no stopping of course, because the tree surgeon who had arrived to redress the holly bush, was in the way.  I had to go home. It was all too much for me. I needed a lie down,  Sadly I had to go to an illuminating meeting on Dyslexia and Binocular function, followed by a lecture on Paediatric Neurophthalmology.  Just what a girl needs on a Thursday night!  Still at least Anita was there, so we didn't learn a lot!

On Friday the scaffolders appeared, in fact they got to the house before I did.  Unfortunately they decided that we were also fixing next doors roof, and so put scaffold up all across the front of the house. When I got there, I asked them why they had done that, only to be met with a torrent of abuse.  I'm afraid to say that my diplomacy skills deserted me at this point.  The boss was called, who tried to blame me for the lack of clear communication.  Shall we say that by the time he left he had a very full and clear idea of what communication is.  The scaffold is now in the right place, all be it without any ladders.  It's been raining every since so we've not had full use of it yet as an adventure playground.  Friday continued in the same vein all day. I was a very tired and grumpy girl by the time I when home. So was Deb.  Not much else could be sent to try us this week could it?

Oh yes it could!  We were burgled on Friday night.  All the plasterers and carpenters drills were taken.  The bars were wrenched off the cellar window (according to the policeman, that wasn't sufficient security).  A whole day spent loitering about, policemen and SOCO came and went. They explained what MO meant, in case we'd missed that episode of NCIS. But all to no avail, apparently there's no prospect of getting any of the kit back.  Were any of them insured? No. Looks like Deb and I will be footing that bill.

We were both very disheartened by Saturday evening. Tired and Weary.

So, I'm very sorry to confess girls, but at this point I could do with the attentions of a Pictish warrior, even if he does turn up on his mates knock-kneed Shetland pony and hasn't recovered his powers of communication!

But tomorrow is another week!  It may have stopped raining! and I will be back in sparkling form!

Best Foot Forward!

So what a lovely day I've had today! Beautiful warm sunshine, good music - can't tell you how much I love my ipod, bit of a random (I prefer eclectic!) selection of music but it keeps my happy (if not out of trouble!), and nobody to bother me. I've spent the day up the scaffold.  Before we begin today's diatribe our song for the day is 'Black Sheep' Gin Wigmore, and our thought for the day 'A goal is a dream with a deadline'. Off we go then!

Yes that's me, what a sight!  The scaffold and the roofer were supposed to arrive around the 16th Sept.  However, on the 13th, yes the same day as I discovered there were at least two more of the wrong type of man in the world, the roofer texted me to say that the scaffolder was unable to put all of the scaffolding up. Why? I hear you cry! Because he couldn't get his poles through the giant holly bush, silly!  At first I wasn't sure if that was some sort of euphemism, but if you'd met the roofer you'd know that he'd be unable to even spell it.  He is a good roofer, she hastened to add whilst extracting her self hurriedly from the hole she'd just fallen into.

Anyway, when the scaffolder came to price the job, he'd failed to notice our enormous bush (now, now, behave!) and hadn't alerted us to the need to trim it to make way for the poles. Perhaps he needs his eyes testing, does anyone know an optician??!!  Ah-ha! you cry! The saga with the council, the permit and the tree surgeon!  Yes that's the one.  As we didn't have the permit at that point,we had to settle for just having scaffolding round the back and along some of the side.  Anyway, after a great deal of huffing and puffing the scaffold was erected, but with only one lift. At gutter height. With no obvious means of access.  The scaffolder was called. The roofer was called. 5 days later a second lift miraculously appeared. Still no obvious means of access, but because we are both agile enough and have superb climbing skills, combined with no fear of heights and a complete disregard for Elfin Safety, both Deb and I are able to access both levels.

So the roofer has repaired the back of the roof, repointed the chimneys and mended the impressive hole.  Simultaneously, Deb and I have painted the windows on the back of the house, the guttering and the down pipes.

Chris, the builder has put the helibars in to repair the cracks and has repointed most of the walls. So things are moving on!  The attic window has been repaired and put back in. John and Denis have done a fantastic job.  The front window should be back with us tomorrow.

Sadly, around this time I was not at my best.  That's what looming life events do to you.  It was my birthday.  Something I've been struggling with for a while. I've been convinced that I've lost all of the limited mathematical ability that I may, or may not have ever had.  I just don't seem to be able to do take-away any more.  I just keep getting the wrong answer.  Poor Lynne asked me for coffee the day before the big event, and I spent the whole time in tears. That was after I'd spent all morning in tears with Deb.  Its such a trauma to loose your mathematical ability!  Then Deb gave me a card that explained it all.  I'm 18 in reality, I just have a lot of years of experience to go with it!  Problem solved, life goes on. My friend Charles says that I should now be able to take a more nuanced approach to age and life.  I'll give it a go, but subtlety never was my strong point. Same as Patience isn't my middle name. Tact and discretion have little place either. But there we go.

Anyway, back to the house.  Let me see, so I've told you it's a two-up-two-down, that it needs everything doing, we're cracking on etc,etc. What else? Oh yes, Deb has made some fantastic purchases on ebay.  Complete shower enclosure, brand new £100. Roll-top bath £16.14.  We're hoping for a fabulous maple kitchen tonight.  We've yet to track down a sink, but we'll find one.

Sadly we're still waiting for the right type of man!